Hope

Hope for me is a candle that flickers, but never goes out.

When he started feeling down last week, Dave fell behind in his homework.  I hope this isn't just me being perfectionistic and performance-based (which I know that I often am), but whenever I learn that, my fears for the future spike.  Being behind in school often triggers a downward spiral.  Dave and I have both been so much hoping that things will be better for a while now, even if we both try not to count on it, and even if we both know to expect bumps along the road.  My candle started flickering.

But somehow it turned out okay.  Dave's mood went up, and he stayed up, catching up, late in the evening.  Things continue to go well.  And I am so, so happy.  I've been happy for a lot of reasons, even during some of the time that Dave was down over the past week, but I am so happy now.  I wish I had words for how happy I am, for how wonderful it is to sit across from Dave when he's happily working and making jokes, to smile at him when he makes incredibly clever responses to everything I say, even though I know he's listening all the same.  I'm happy right now.