Questioning self

3/15/11

I wish I didn't have to write this question:  Why am I unhappy when Dave is happy?

Right now, Dave is laughing cheerfullly and with abandon while he plays football on the PS2 with Tim.  Right now I am smiling, so happy that Dave feels happy for a few minutes (just this afternoon he was feeling worthless because he is so behind in school and has no motivation to catch up).  But when he first started laughing, I felt bitter.  And I'm not sure why I think that I feel like Dave should be happy on my time table, that if he can be happy playing PS2 he should be happy with me.  I think maybe I feel like I should be able to make him happy. 

I'm happy Dave is happy.