Good

Things have been going so well.  So well.

Dave tried a medication that seemed really helpful at the same time that I had a breakthrough in my personal counseling regarding our relationship (namely, that Dave couldn't get better until I let him know how I need him, let him respond to my needs, and then appreciate that response from him.  Sometimes I think I'm helping him by doing everything and not expressing my needs, but that's not true).  Our relationship got a lot better, and his energy and motivation went way up.  He started applying for jobs, and got a FANTASTIC one!  He made goals in his hobbies.  He did his homework, and felt hopeful about graduating in August.  He did everything to take care of the house and responded to a survey in the mail.

Can I just say for a minute how much that meant to me?  That when we got a notice in the mail, he responded to it?  I have taken care of every bill or survey or notice that has come in the mail for the past 16 months.  I couldn't have imagined Dave doing that.  And when I came back with the mail and he looked at it and said, "Oh, I guess I'll do that," I felt amazingly happy.  Like I was part of a team, and we both picked up part of what needed to be done, without even being asked.  It was amazing.

I realized I've put this all in past tense.  That's partly because he's been feeling down this past week, but partly I think I put it in past tense because it matters much more to me that it happened than that it keeps happening.  I see clients sometimes who say "Depression is so hard to face all the time - if only we could have some breaks sometimes, to recuperate, then maybe we would have the energy to keep facing it."  And I felt like that's what I've had for the past three or four weeks.  I've had time to re-energize.  I've had hope.  I've had teamwork.  I've had gifts of time and attention.

And no matter what happens next, that's enough to keep me going for a long time.
It'd be great if things stayed this good, but this is enough for me.