I said in my last blog post that I was both angry and hopeful after accepting that I might need to give up the expectation of Dave's perpetual happiness, though we could still have moments of happiness.
I wanted to mention that I felt like I need to accept one other thing. The earlier-referenced conversation came up because I was working on our finances, and was curious what we could expect for the future.
The fact is, I like stability. It would be cool if I could plan out our financial future for the next 5 years.
But I can handle not doing that. We're doing absolutely, 100% okay financially right now. And our future is not at all scary; Dave is in a good job, and after I graduate I will be in line for an income as good as any social services worker can hope for.
So maybe I don't need to have a 5-year plan. I feel happy tonight anyway.
and dave's job does sound pretty bomb.
ReplyDeleteJaime, I think you are amazing. You are learning to let go of parts of yourself that hurt you and doing that can hurt. (Ironically). It's hard to let go of lifelong expectations and live in the moment, but I am so proud of you for trying. You're inspiring.
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