I thought a month ago that we were back to normal, and that things were going fine. But in the past few weeks, David has mentioned that he's been thinking about what more he could do for our family, and taking initiative to think of what he can do and then to do it. He's been cleaning and grocery shopping - he even brought me a packaged dinner when I wasn't going to have time to eat in between activities one evening, something we did a lot when we were engaged, but we hadn't done it in a long, long time.
It's like I had forgotten how good things could be, and how happy I could be. And now life is that way again.
Here comes the sun (do-do-do-do)
It's not as if things are unchanged by the threat of Dave's depression - he still feels afraid of what could happen, and feels burdened at school by his past poor performance even though he's doing great now. But things are overall going better than I ever remembered they could.
On July 6th I wrote a post about how hurt, burdened, and alone I felt. I wondered when things would get better for me, even though they were already starting to get better for David. And today I feel like all of those issues have been resolved. Things became better for me - they even became wonderful.
I had not idea...
ReplyDeleteI sure miss you on the unit, but hear that you are still around! Good for CFC, I hope it is good for you! Hang in there. You are unbelievably strong and courageous. I am so impressed by you!
Shanna - thank you, so much! I have been missing you, too - I only visit on Mondays & Fridays, and so I realized the other day that I won't have a chance to see you! But I was really happy to read this comment from you.
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to comment on one of your earlier posts, but it seems it wasn't an option then. Anyway, I just want to thank you and Dave for sharing your experiences. I also suffer from depression, and it is a constant struggle for me to maintain friendships and relationships when I am feeling down. I don't want anyone to realize how bad things are, so I avoid my loved ones. Most times I believe they can't really help anyway, and I'll just end up worrying them. Somehow it helps me immensely to hear your perspective on things, and the love you always express even in times of deepest frustration.
ReplyDeleteThanks again,
-K
I've been thinking for a few days now about your comment, K. It really stuck with me. I know how sometimes I shut down, focus on my own problems, and not want to burden anybody else - I bet it's different for someone with depression rather than someone with family/friend with depression, but I guess the end result is similar.
ReplyDeleteYou said it helps you immensely to hear my perspective; that was really wonderful for me to hear. I started this blog first to get my own experience written down, but second because I really, really hoped it would be helpful to someone out there. Thank you for saying that. And if you want to share any more of your experience, here or elsewhere, I hope you will do so.