When Dave first started really struggling with depression, I scoured the web for blogs about the spouse's experience, and particularly the wife's experience.
What I found were lots of lists of how to help your spouse. That isn't what I was looking for.
I know that is what some people are looking for, and I did want to know if I was missing anything really important. But one list is enough to identify the major steps ("help them seek psychiatric and therapeutic treatment", "recognize that it is a true and often genetic problem", and "don't tell them platitudes" are usually the top 3, followed by tips about exercise, eating, and sleep), and given that I'd worked for a year at a psychiatric hospital, I really doubted I was missing any universal to-dos.
What I really wanted was a blog that said, "This is hard for me. This is my life as I am living it, and it's what I want and what I chose to do, but this is hard for me". I just wanted my pain to be acknowledged, validated, and sympathized with.
I have now identified a few blogs that do just that (they're all listed under "interests" in my profile). But my writing this blog gives me exactly what I was looking for - I acknowledge my pain (and my joys!) here, and I am grateful for the validation and support I receive, both on this blog and in person. Thank you.
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