Medications

I have been thinking for months about asking our psychiatrist to be more aggressive with Dave's medication.   I wrote a few months ago about being really frustrated that he didn't realize sooner how severe Dave's depression was, and that he was not sensitive in revealing his surprise when he did realize it.  I was angry that he hadn't realized it when he could have helped most.  I know this is unfair to him - he only has what we tell him to go on - but it is easier to place blame on him than me or Dave.  

Dave was on Prozac (40 mg) & Wellbutrin (300 mg), which are fairly aggressive doses, but not aggressive medications (they're among your first choices, and then you move up from there).  We agreed that they made his low times shorter and less frequent, but he still dips just as low, and he still really struggles with school, etc.
 

So when we went in to meet with the psychiatrist this time, I was prepared to ask him about potentially being more aggressive, and Dave had agreed it was a good idea to discuss it.

I was surprised when the psychiatrist immediately agreed to change.  Said we were done with prozac & wellbutrin - that we had given it a year trial and it was time to move up.  Effexor is the new medication.

Now Dave is transitioning off the old medications - he was really sleepy and passively suicidal for the first two days (I was unhappy to be in a home with guns, even though Dave said he was not seriously considering anything), but his mood came back up after that.

It's so strange, the delicate balance of our neurochemistry, and the impact our thoughts have on it.  It's so odd to be waiting, wondering what will happen while Dave comes off this medication, wondering how much of any changes are situational and how much is here to stay.

I know that for lots of people, no medications work, and for others, it just takes a long time to find the right mix.  It feels really odd, to have hope that eventually - in a few years, maybe - there might be a medication mix that will work.  Or maybe there won't.  And there's no way to know.

But either way, I'm glad to have something new to try.  There's always hope in that.