10 months ago, David had chronic insomnia, found it almost impossible to do any kind of work, and impossible to see worth in himself.
I've written blog posts about how differently David is handling things now. I have been so impressed by that, so impressed by how David is managing to do some work every day, to go out with friends, to find some things that he's excited about, that I think I've failed to see the depression underneath. Because he didn't have the same depression symptoms he did 10 months ago, I guess I thought it was gone for a while.
But we went in for a therapy session (we do monthly check-ins even when we're doing well, which I think is really helpful), and Dave started talking about how life still didn't seem worthwhile, and how he still felt like he was disappointing in every area. I hadn't seen that.
He's also been sleeping a lot lately (the other day he feeling sick and slept 15 hours), and even though he's been 100% on top of some of his classes, there are others that he really, really struggles to find motivation to work on.
When Dave found ways to really effectively manage his depression, the face of the depression changed. And somehow I just didn't recognize it.
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Depression has so many faces, so may different symptoms, so many outlets. At the moment I feel surrounded by close ones with depression. My Dad was admitted to a day patient program for depression, one of my very best friends is currently at a low point, and I have another family member struggling. That doesn't make me feel overwhelmed, it just is. But I do find myself puzzling over how to support each person. Depression can have such a different face for each person, and have different faces at different times. So it's really, really hard to know how to help someone without them telling you, but when you're at a low point in your depression, it seems like you're averse both to figuring out what you need and to telling someone else about it.
Jaime, I hope you know how appreciated you are. You are constantly looking for ways to lift those around you. You'd think that you'd get too overwhelmed and tired from the effort you put into family and friends with depression and other major challenges, but somehow you manage to put the same love and effort into your interactions with EVERYONE you meet.
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